Over the past 8 months or so, I’ve been finding myself experimenting more and more into the kinky role-playing lifestyle of bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, sadism, and masochism, also known as BDSM or S&M. Although it’s been less than a year since I started, I’ve noticed that man.
Over the past 8 months or so, I’ve been finding myself experimenting more and more into the kinky role-playing lifestyle of bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, sadism, and masochism, also known as BDSM or S&M. Although it’s been less than a year since I started, I’ve noticed that many things I’ve heard about BDSM, and the people that participate in this kink, aren’t true.
I mean, most of the things I heard about BDSM had made me too nervous to try it out, but thankfully I decided to give it a go because almost everything I heard that made me too anxious to try it out sooner was nothing more than a myth.
If you’re on the fence about wanting to participate in some BDSM role-playing scenario, please read this article because I’m going to debunk many myths about this kinky fetish that should help you feel more comfortable about giving it a shot.
Believe it or not but BDSM really isn’t anything to be afraid of, and honestly, there are many aspects of this kink that can be beneficial to one’s health.
BDSM Myth #1: BDSM Is Extremely Painful, And You’ll Get Hurt!
BDSM isn’t only about hurting, spanking, beating up, or slapping someone around because you can play for hours without causing or receiving pain.
BDSM can be light and with touches of eroticism, involving subtle role-playing, and fetishes solely based on kinky outfits made of latex, leather, or lace.
BDSM Myth #2: Everything You Need To Know About BDSM Is In 50 Shades Of Grey!
There’s a heck of a lot more to BDSM than what’s portrayed in the book, or movie, 50 Shades Of Grey.
Just like marijuana is considered the “gateway drug” to harder drugs, I’d consider 50 Shades Of Grey as the “gateway drug” to better BDSM practices…also, I recommend that couples watch 50 Shades Of Grey together as a way of opening up the discussion about BDSM to try a few things out together…but in no way does this movie represent more than 3% of the BDSM lifestyle and philosophy.
BDSM Myth #3: Only Weird Perverts Participate In BDSM!
If you’ve never dipped your toes into the BDSM swimming pool of kink and only based your ideas on what you’ve seen in the media, then you’ve probably formulated the opinion that only weirdos and sexually perverse people participate in BDSM. Still, actually, nothing could be further from the truth.
BDSM participants can be happy, healthy, open-minded, and ready to explore their sexual identities, as well as being less judgmental of people with sexual preferences other than theirs.
BDSM Myth #4: Only Men Can Be Dominants!
One of my close female friends happens to be a professional dominatrix, and she tells me that as many men prefer submissive roles as they do dominate roles.
As you get started on your BDSM journey, don’t be afraid to test out both submissive and dominant roles so you can discover which role brings you the most pleasure.
BDSM Myth #5: Submissives Are Submissive In Their Everyday Lives!
Many powerful CEOs and other successful professionals tend to switch their real-life roles of being “dominant” bosses in their real lives to that of the submissive role player in their BDSM fantasies. It’s a form of relaxation, providing a sense of relief from the burden of being constantly responsible for others in their everyday lives.
BDSM Myth #6: Dominants Are Sadistic & Dangerous!
Dominants obviously enjoy having power over their submissive and lead their sessions, but everything is agreed on upfront. BDSM relationships are highly consensual, and most dominants will only practice something the submissive likes and enjoys.
BDSM Myth #7: Only Gay Men Participate In BDSM Anal Play!
This is not true whatsoever. Prostate massage or stimulation by hand or a strap-on brings men very intense feelings equivalent to female G-spot stimulation.
So if you’re a straight man testing out BDSM, don’t be afraid to let your lover use a strap-on at least a few times on you so you can enjoy new sexual sensations that you’ve never felt before.
BDSM Myth #8: 100% Of BDSM Sex Is Painful & Aggressive!
From my experiences, BDSM does not always include sexual penetration, and in fact, some BDSM practices forbid sex altogether, such as male and female chastity and orgasm denial; Orgasm denial is the act of not letting your submissive reach an orgasm just when they are very close to having one.
BDSM Myth #9: Once You Try BDSM, The Regular Sex Becomes Too Boring!
This is also not true whatsoever! People that participate in the BDSM lifestyle enjoy regular “vanilla” sex just like everyone else does.
BDSM Myth #10: BDSM Is Abuse!
This is 100% false. BDSM participants establish “safe words” that inform all participants that it’s time to cool things down if their chosen “safe word” is said aloud.
Participants should always talk before, during, and after a scene or moment to make sure everyone is on the same page. BDSM in a healthy, consensual environment is not abuse. It is a physical manifestation of desires and urges, no matter how dark or dangerous.
BDSM Myth #11: BDSM Is For People That Suffer From Depression!
Again, this is false. There’s an odd generalization that people who practice BDSM are somewhat darker and more psychologically damaged. However, a large-scale sexual health study on the mental well-being of those that practiced BDSM compared to those that are maybe sexually more traditional found that BDSM practitioners would have better attachments and relationships than their counterparts. They were also far less anxious, more intimate, and far more extroverted, which led to very positive mental health and general happiness.
BDSM Myth #12: BDSM Leads To Infidelity!
Believe it or not but couples that participate in BDSM tend to cheat less because they’re extremely open and honest about their sexual desires with each other, which means they don’t have to find someone else to help quench their sexual appetites.
Well, I hope that after reading about these myths, you’re more open to giving BDSM a go because it really will open up your mind and body to an awareness of sexual gratification that you can only achieve from BDSM role-playing experiences.
Everything You Need For Your BDSM Collection
Below is a list of the BDSM accessories sold at Shades of Love. Please click on each item with your partner so the two of you can decide which BDSM products you should start with or add to your collection.
Few Suggestions on BDSM Accessories
If you need any help deciding what you need to make your BDSM fantasies as enjoyable as possible, I suggest you check out these items below.
Under the Bed Restraint System Black
Turn any size bed into a place of binding pleasure. Restraint straps quickly fit beneath any mattress or frame without hooks. Restrain your partner’s arms or legs from the sides of the top and bottom of the bed. Portable and travel-sized. The Under The Bed Restraint System includes four cuffs, four 60 inch restraint straps, and one 60 inches connector strap. Slide the restraint straps under the mattress for an instant bondage bedroom. Each 60 inches strap adjusts to fit any size bed. There are multiple ways to position the straps. Use your imagination and restrain your lover for more fun!
Sportsheets Saffron Handcuffs Black Red
Bright scarlet on darkest midnight vegan leather creates an iconic cuff that will flavor many evenings of debauchery. These heavy-duty wrist restraints are soft on the inside for a comfortable seduction while you play with power, punishment, and pleasure. Link the cuffs together like a standard set of handcuffs, separate them and combine them with a spreader bar, chains, or other BDSM accessories. These restraints and durable and secure so that you know your plaything is fully captivated.
Sportsheets Door Jam Sex Sling
The Door Jam Sex Sling from Sportsheets helps angle your hips to target your G-spot during sex. Padded seat pivots for access at any angle. Foot support straps and hand grips provide ultimate leverage. Padded seats, foot supports, and hand grips allow you to create new positions and sensations. It supports up to 325 pounds, no installation required, perfect for travel!
Now that I’ve cleared up all of those false BDSM myths holding you back, go ahead and give BDSM role-playing a try.
Shades of Love not only has the ABSOLUTE best bondage toys for women, but they also have AMAZING bondage toys for men, as well as naughty BDSM toys for couples. Below I have listed my top bondage gear and BDSM devices gear from Shades of Love’s wide selection of bondage gear and devices for women, men, and couples involved in the BDSM lifestyle!
